About Me

I’m 33 years old. I grew up in northern Utah and moved to Portland, Oregon after dropping out of one year enrolled at Utah state university.

I really didn’t plan too far ahead but needed to get out of my hometown and cultivate some life experiences. The plan that I did have , though flimsy, was quickly thwarted when the car I had intended to live in temporarily once I arriving in Portland, died in California.

I was scared but still determined so I got a rental car, finished the drive, threw a bunch of stuff away, and figured out stable housing as fast as possible. I’m thankful I haven’t had to be brave in that way since then, but knowing that boldness is there somewhere, is something I try and remind myself when I feel afraid.

I’m gay, been out of the closet for 10 years.

My first major life lesson revolves around honesty.

The pain of coming out and having to become honest was incredibly painful and scary. Living in honesty, however, and doing my best to stay as close as possible to honest, is simple and freeing. It also works as a great filter, and has helped me find my community.

I live alcohol free, stopped drinking June 3, 2023.

My second major life lesson revolves around Gratitude.

Before I stopped drinking my inspiration mainly bloomed from sorrow and pain. I would tap into the part of me that felt isolated or alone and uproot whatever I could to try and show people who I felt I was. Once it came time for me to remove alcohol from my life and therefore my creative practice, my place for inspiration naturally evolved, and to my surprise, anchored in gratitude.

I believe that gratitude moves through and includes sorrow with a more full perspective. with gratitude I can see previous versions of myself with more compassion and a deeper understanding of who I am striving to become.

I had been afraid to fully heal due to fear that I would lose the place I paint from. But now, I've found a deeper well, one that I feel, has no end. I’m not saying I've '“healed completely”, but I am striving to care for myself more than I have in the past and that is win to me.

I've painted full time for the bulk of 8 years, I've been in a bunch of shows and have had awesome art opportunities. I didn’t go to formal art school but feel the term self-taught is lacking appreciation for the mentors I’ve had along the way. Just because I don’t have a mountain of debt due to schooling, doesn’t mean I didn’t learn things taught to me by other people…. and a mountain of debt created in other ways. My boyfriend always says, “The school of hard knocks still has a tuition.”

I don’t know what other kinds of stuff people usually put in an about me page but let’s just start with this for now,

I love to paint and if I think about it too much it’ll make me cry.

Love,

Your friend,